As I begin my next class, I want to welcome my new followers, and wish my fellow classmates well in their next step of this journey!
This week's assignment was to describe a birthing experience .I chose to write about my own experiences, as I have been through this experience three times, and have four lovely children to show for it. Each time the experience was special, but different from the others.
When having my daughter, I was 19 years old and unmarried, giving birth in a Catholic hospital (the only game in town). I was treated horribly once the staff realized that I was not married (this was 27 years ago--public opinion has changed since then). They were rude to me, ignoring my questions and yelling at me for crying out in pain. They even went so far as to refuse to list the father's name on the birth certificate, even though he stayed with me for the birthing process.
A few years later, I gave birth to my twins (I was married by this point--to the same man who fathered my daughter). Same hospital, but the attitude of the staff had done a complete turnaround. They were friendly and supportive. Since one of the nurses graduated HS with my husband, she took extra-special care of me. I was in labor for 3 days (both kids wanted out at the same time and neither one was willing to move away from the birth canal. I literally had to SHOVE one of them out of the way to avoid a C-section). Because multiple births are high-risk, in conjunction with the fact that they were coming 3 weeks early AND I had been in an automobile accident during my first trimester, the delivery room was CROWDED! Delivery team. C-section team standing by, just in case. Two neo-natal teams. And a class of student doctors and nurses who just wanted to see twins born!
By the time I had my youngest, I was more experienced as to what to expect. The labor was shorter (a mere 8 hours), and the only people present were me and my husband, my doctor, and the nurse who had taken such good care of me when I was having my twins (Kudos Bonnie!!!)
In all 3 cases, I was extremely lucky. My children were born without the need for C-sections, and all were born with birth weights between 5 and 6.5 lbs. (on the low side, but within acceptable ranges. With the exception of a little jaundice in one twin, all were born healthy and able to come home with me right way. Each time, my hospital stay was only a few days. I was fortunate to have a large family close by who were willing to help in any and every way possible to allow me to recover and adapt to the changes in our home,
In reading about birthing in other parts of the world, I was shocked to realize how many births occur at home. While some choose this method, others are forced to deliver at home because they do not have access to a medical facility, or cannot afford to go to one. While I understand that "giving birth is one of the most natural things in the world" and "women have been giving birth for thousands of years", I also realize that things can and do go wrong. The presence of someone with knowledge of the experience can greatly reduce to possibility of a tragic and painful result. Although the number of infant deaths and deaths of women in childbirth are dropping, there are areas of the world where the numbers are still unacceptably high.
Each time I gave birth, I may not have been treated with courtesy, but at least I had people there who knew what to do should an emergency arise, Too many women in the world do not have that piece of mind!
Sorry to hear about the first experience and glad to see that people perspectives about childbirth as a single parent is changing. I am glad that the type of childbirth is an option here in the United States. I also have four children and went through the process four times. First one was a C-section, full-term because she was breech. My last three were preterm and/or premature births. So glad facilities are available to handle these type of emergencies. It is amazing how in other countries women delivery babies at home with only the help of a midwife.
ReplyDeleteAs I was reading your birth experience, I can only imagine how hard your first birth experience was. Some people so judgmental, but that is no excuse to be treated to way you were. I was also 19 years old when I got pregnant. I was blessed that I was not treated so harshly.I was not married either at the time of my daughter's birth. Glad to know the birth of your twins was a more pleasant experience.
ReplyDeleteHi Kathleen!
ReplyDeleteIn my other life I am a child birth educator so I enjoy hearing peoples birth stories! I used to teach teens and often times even today they chose my class because of the experience they had or expected when they went to a class that was full of 30 some year olds with their husbands. How fortunate you were not to have a c-section as the US has some of highest rates for "election" c-sections versus medical need.
Nikki
Hi Kathy
ReplyDeleteTruly, that was an horrible experience to endure. I never had an doctor / nurse or any staff member to judge me for not being married.
The only thing here in Chicago, doctors want to know if, the baby's father will be going into the devilry room. Thank God things have change since the time your children were born.
I was also young when I had my first child. It is a scary experience. Even if we do have support. I can only imagine not having that support. Thought the readings I did as well in others countries they seem not to have that support which is just sad to me. How places can still have this happening. I enjoyed reading about your experience.
ReplyDelete