When I was a teenager (many, many years ago) I participated in a program called the International Student Leadership Institute (ISLI). It was a program that ran for 4 days and 3 nights in which participants were split into small groups made up with people they didn't know, or at least didn't know well. During the program each group completed a number of tasks--some easy, some difficult, and some very personal. Each group had a facilitator or 2 to make sure they knew what they were supposed to be doing and to guide them along the way. Saying goodbye at the end of the program was heartbreaking--such strong bonds were formed during such a short time. I went back and was trained to be a facilitator myself, and continued to participate in the program for several years. Each time, saying goodbye was tear-filled. The closing ceremony was a mass during which the "sign of peace" took about 20 minutes because everyone was running around hugging each other. You were also given a packet of notes that the members of your group wrote in which they told you how they felt about you--what they liked, what they admired, and what they were going to miss. Now, over 3 decades later, I still have every note ever given to me during those ceremonies, and I am still in contact with quite a few people I met there.
Finishing my program at Walden will not have the same impact on my life, as the connections made do not have the same emotional pull. Because I took a short leave from the program, the people I began with are no longer in the same classes as me, and I am now interacting with an entirely new group of people. There is one person I connected with from the very beginning. Her name is Nikki, and we have never met. We live at opposite ends of the country, and it is unlikely that we ever will actually meet in person. But, we still check in with each other--our progress, our kids, our lives. If I were to attend the graduation ceremony at the end of the program, it would only be to meet my friend in person. While I do believe that adjourning is an important part of a group--to review, to recap--to provide a sense of closure, I doubt that I will be able to afford the trip, nor will I be able to get enough time off to go.
That is wonderful that you were able to find such friends and feelings from that group you were in. I wonder if personalities play more a role in that process? I love certain aspects of groups but rarely make "friendships" and am definitely not a hugger! I agree that this process is much different because of the lack of emotional connections. I don't communicate well over the internet and don't seem to be making friends with people as I would if we worked in person. I am doing this purely for personal success but could not have done this several years ago when life was much different than it is today! Good luck with the remainder of your studies.
ReplyDeleteThanks--you too!!!
ReplyDeleteHi Kathleen, your program sounds great and the bond that you all established is priceless. I can relate to how hard it was to say goodbye in such a wonderful program. It was so wonderful having a strong friendship amongst everyone in the program. It's wonderful that you all still in touch with one another good friends are hard to come by. Thanks Kathleen for your wonderful post! 😀
ReplyDeleteKathleen,
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like a great program and clearly you continue to go back to it and for three decades (wow!) so I doubt many other group sessions will ever come close to that experience. The notes from there should be such a morale booster whenever you are low or simply need some pep-talk. I would like to check it out myself to form new relationships and bonds.
While online learning is convenient and meaningful when done the right way, internet and social media can never take the place of face-to-face interactions. I met a lady on a plane recently and the journey was less than 1.5 hours and we connected so well that I think we will stay in touch and be good friends. That cannot happen online. Thanks for being candid about it. And so great that you could make at least one friend Nikki through this program!!
Cheers,
Divya