Relationship Reflection

I have quite a few relationships I value in my life. Some are family members, some are friends, some are people I work with, and some are people I never actually met in person, but instead through electronic means. These people can brighten up my day by sending me a picture or note just to let me know they are thinking of me. They provide support when I am down and share in my joys. They listen when I brag about my kids, and give advice when I don't know which way to turn.

This group is my immediate family. In it are my parents, my husband, my children, my siblings and their spouses and children. We are unusually lucky because we all get along and like to spend time together (sadly, this is frequently NOT the case in families). We help each other out, not because we are looking for something in return, but simply because it's what we do. Yesterday, I took the day off of work to go with my parents to a doctor appt. simply because I felt it was important that my Mom didn't have to wait in the waiting room alone while my Dad had a minor procedure done. My husband came to my school today to fix some of the damage we sustained during the recent storms--not because he was getting paid to do so (because he wasn't!), but merely because he knows how important my work and my students are to me. My sister often quips "Everyone should have an Aunt Kathy!" because I spend a great deal of time with her and her two small children. My daughter recently attended a rock concert with her father and I because it reminded her of the first concert we ever took her to (the band was Boston--first time she was 7, this time she is almost 27--they have special meaning because she was named for one of their songs). We celebrate birthdays and holidays together, and attend each other's special events, such as graduations, dance recitals, plays, school concerts, award ceremonies, and sporting events. At the opening night at my son's senior play, my family took up the entire front row (22 seats!) When my twins graduated from college, 3 car loads of family members drove across the state to attend the ceremonies. Next month, we will gather together to celebrate my mother's retirement (it's a secret, so shhhhhhh!!!)

Maintaining positive relations within this groups is not always easy, but it is always worth it! There are times when we disagree with each other, or we disapprove of another's actions. Over the years we have worked hard to work through our problems and find solutions. Sometimes, this simply means backing off, and other times, it means calling in a neutral party to help lead the way. The one thing we don't do is walk away. We understand that would hurt everyone, dividing the family and forcing people to choose sides.

I have relationships outside my family that I value just as strongly.

This silly guy has been one of my best friends since junior high. (Yes, guys and girls can be friends). We have supported each other through some of the hardest times of our lives, and rejoiced at some of the greatest. He slept on our couch when he had no where else to go, and I cried on his shoulder when it seemed as if my entire life had fallen apart. My husband and I helped him build his business (I actually built the fireplace in the background) and he helped us build a huge stone patio where we could hold parties at my house.

This young lady is my co-teacher. She and I work well together. We are usually on the same page, and quite frequently finish each other's thoughts. We talk about our private lives and well as our professional ones. We help each other through personal problems and professional dilemmas. She is only 4 days older than my daughter, but we have become good friends as well as co-workers.

This young man was in my class when he was 3 years old. This picture was taken the night he graduated from high school. We happen to run into each other at the restaurant where his family was celebrating and he asked to get a picture together. His mom sent it to me the next day and said "Matty was so thrilled you were there last night! He couldn't believe he got to see his favorite teacher on the biggest night of his life! He wants to know if you will come back here for his 21st birthday!"

I have so many relationships--with my family, my friends, my students and their families--some that last a short time, and others that have lasted for years and years. I value each and every one of them. They have all contributed to the person I am today--through their support, love, and encouragement, as well as the hardships and sorrows we have shared. I am better able to understand and relate to each new student and their family because of the experiences I have shared with the people in my life.