My Connections to play

 

 

This topic today is childhood connections to play. One of the directions was to include pictures of items that I considered essential to play when I was a child. Here they are:

That's it. Just my brothers and sisters. As a child, I suffered from asthma, and as a result, I frequently missed school and had a hard time making friends. I was rarely allowed to play at other children's houses, because of possible threats to my health: dogs, cats, indoor plants, smoking, etc. So most of my playing was done at home with my siblings.

We would devise elaborate stories and take over the entire lower level of the house. We used the furniture, blankets, cushions, and whatever else we could find to create castles, islands, or forts. Our mother (usually) allowed us to keep everything in place so we could pick up where we left off from day to day.

On days when breathing was good and threats were low, we would leave the house early in the morning, lunches packed, and we would take off to explore the neighborhood. Sometimes other children would join us, other times not, but the door was always open to whoever happened to come back with us.

Today play is much different than it was in my childhood. To begin with, the world is a much more dangerous place. Children cannot just "go out and explore" unsupervised. Stranger Danger is sadly part of our new reality. In the past, neighbors knew one another and looked out for each other, but today that is rarely the case.

In addition, most mothers work today, and therefore children do not spend their free time at home. They are frequently enrolled in day care, or spend their time with a grandparent or babysitter. Because of this, play is quite limited. Even in the best of centers, play time is at least partially structured, limited by space. low staffing, or schedules.

In school, play has become practically extinct. Schools have drastically cut, or even eliminated gym classes and recess periods. Budget cuts and increased pressure to have students perform well on standardized testing has lead schools to cut back on play so children can spend more time studying and preparing, even though research has proven time and time again that children NEED to play in order to learn. Hopefully, the politicians cutting the budgets and insisting upon testing will soon get the message that what they are asking for will give them the direct opposite results as what they want. Without play, children CANNOT learn!

Even as adults, we need to play, although we rarely make time for it. Work, families, school, household responsibilities all make finding time to just play seem irresponsible and foolish. Lack of playtime in adults has led to increased stress, illness, and being overweight. Imagine how much better life would be if we could spend out free time doing something fun instead of cleaning, doing laundry, mowing the lawn, or doing homework. I, myself, have found that returning to school, while still trying to work full time and run the house has led to poorer health, increased irritability, and increased illness. Even now, on a beautiful July Saturday, I am not outside having fun. I am writing a blog as part of an assignment while the washer, dryer, and dishwasher all run. When I finish, I will run to the grocery store, prepare dinner, clean the bathrooms and throw a couple more loads of laundry in, just so I can clear my Sunday so I can do more homework!



Relationship Reflection

I have quite a few relationships I value in my life. Some are family members, some are friends, some are people I work with, and some are people I never actually met in person, but instead through electronic means. These people can brighten up my day by sending me a picture or note just to let me know they are thinking of me. They provide support when I am down and share in my joys. They listen when I brag about my kids, and give advice when I don't know which way to turn.

This group is my immediate family. In it are my parents, my husband, my children, my siblings and their spouses and children. We are unusually lucky because we all get along and like to spend time together (sadly, this is frequently NOT the case in families). We help each other out, not because we are looking for something in return, but simply because it's what we do. Yesterday, I took the day off of work to go with my parents to a doctor appt. simply because I felt it was important that my Mom didn't have to wait in the waiting room alone while my Dad had a minor procedure done. My husband came to my school today to fix some of the damage we sustained during the recent storms--not because he was getting paid to do so (because he wasn't!), but merely because he knows how important my work and my students are to me. My sister often quips "Everyone should have an Aunt Kathy!" because I spend a great deal of time with her and her two small children. My daughter recently attended a rock concert with her father and I because it reminded her of the first concert we ever took her to (the band was Boston--first time she was 7, this time she is almost 27--they have special meaning because she was named for one of their songs). We celebrate birthdays and holidays together, and attend each other's special events, such as graduations, dance recitals, plays, school concerts, award ceremonies, and sporting events. At the opening night at my son's senior play, my family took up the entire front row (22 seats!) When my twins graduated from college, 3 car loads of family members drove across the state to attend the ceremonies. Next month, we will gather together to celebrate my mother's retirement (it's a secret, so shhhhhhh!!!)

Maintaining positive relations within this groups is not always easy, but it is always worth it! There are times when we disagree with each other, or we disapprove of another's actions. Over the years we have worked hard to work through our problems and find solutions. Sometimes, this simply means backing off, and other times, it means calling in a neutral party to help lead the way. The one thing we don't do is walk away. We understand that would hurt everyone, dividing the family and forcing people to choose sides.

I have relationships outside my family that I value just as strongly.

This silly guy has been one of my best friends since junior high. (Yes, guys and girls can be friends). We have supported each other through some of the hardest times of our lives, and rejoiced at some of the greatest. He slept on our couch when he had no where else to go, and I cried on his shoulder when it seemed as if my entire life had fallen apart. My husband and I helped him build his business (I actually built the fireplace in the background) and he helped us build a huge stone patio where we could hold parties at my house.

This young lady is my co-teacher. She and I work well together. We are usually on the same page, and quite frequently finish each other's thoughts. We talk about our private lives and well as our professional ones. We help each other through personal problems and professional dilemmas. She is only 4 days older than my daughter, but we have become good friends as well as co-workers.

This young man was in my class when he was 3 years old. This picture was taken the night he graduated from high school. We happen to run into each other at the restaurant where his family was celebrating and he asked to get a picture together. His mom sent it to me the next day and said "Matty was so thrilled you were there last night! He couldn't believe he got to see his favorite teacher on the biggest night of his life! He wants to know if you will come back here for his 21st birthday!"

I have so many relationships--with my family, my friends, my students and their families--some that last a short time, and others that have lasted for years and years. I value each and every one of them. They have all contributed to the person I am today--through their support, love, and encouragement, as well as the hardships and sorrows we have shared. I am better able to understand and relate to each new student and their family because of the experiences I have shared with the people in my life.